Archive | May, 2010

London Here I Come

27 May

The big day has been and gone. How do I feel? Hard to say. Having waited for 10 weeks, I battled with frustration, anger and fear and I am finding this hard to let go of. I keep finding excuses to remain in fight mode, such as ‘I can’t relax until I get my operation date’, ‘I can’t relax until I am well enough to start running again’, ‘I feel guilty for not carrying out my everyday tasks’.

Enough of the excuses! I have succumb to my emotions, to the extent that it is affecting my outlook on life. Time to take stock and re-evaluate my situation and sift out the silver lining.

From my monthly review of my life, I find reassurance in what I have achieved in business, personally and on my annual aims. It is amazing what you do in a month, if you sit and think about your achievements.

The silver linings in the cloud of my forthcoming heart surgery are:

1. My surgeon states I will be able to run the London marathon in April next year.

2. I intend to use this blog to chart my experience over the coming weeks and months, to keep myself focused on recovery and to help others in a similar situation.

3. My fitness goals give me something to aim towards and give me the determination to pull through as soon as possible.

4. I have a great partner, family and friends around me for support.
So, London 2011, here I come. From heart patient to marathon runner, the journey starts here :)

The Big Day

24 May

After a long, long 10 week wait for an appointment with a surgeon, the big day is approaching. After a lot of frustration, anger, upset and tears, I am now excited about the prospect of getting my life back on track. I am at the end of my tether with my treatment from the NHS, feel very disappointed. I have almost completely stopped exercising due to my symptoms but still have the fire for triathlon and running burning inside! I am determined to get back to training as soon as possible, which is why I have continued to have a active role in trying to get better as soon as possible.

Remaining positive is crucial to mental strength through difficult times. My aim is to run a marathon again, ideally my London marathon place in 2011. I aim to get back to triathlon training with my club and with my partner as I feel my life is missing a large part.

So after Wednesday, I will know when my heart operation is likely to be and therefore, when I can get back to training. The operation, recovery and implications are a small, almost insignificant part of the journey. I find it useful to focus on the result i.e. getting back on my bike, in the sea swimming or crossing the finish line of the marathon. Mental images are strong and become strong the more you enforce them in your mind. As the saying goes, begin with the end in mind.