Tag Archives: gratitude

The New Sensible and Responsible Corinne…!

11 Oct

It’s almost 6 months since I visited my cardiologist and received news that my planned season of triathlon was not to be. One by one I cancelled my races in 2013, feeling the financial pain of the situation as well as the physical! Watching all the races was fun but each piece took a little piece away from me. Being honest, I had to almost switch off and ignore anything to do with Roth in July, as pulling out of that hurt so much – hence the holiday to Greece!

After seeing the specialist, I made an effort to reduce my training down, in volume and intensity, incorporating some yoga and gym work to keep me busy. But soon the lore of triathlon was back as I entered a local sprint tri in August. My training was back up to doing two sessions of each discipline every week. A few faster runs, an extra mile or two per hour on the bike, and regular sea swims. All of a sudden, and not surprisingly the chest pain returned – warning signs to slow down. I felt annoyed and frustrated, I was only training for a slow ‘sprint’  and my body couldn’t even manage that??

Those close to me asked me to stop training. I was running myself down and being grumpy most of the time! Letting go of such a big part of your time takes time and a great deal of patience – certainly not my forte!

I’m back to see my cardiologist in two weeks, fully expecting to be told off and given what for, again. I’ve learnt my lesson this time and this dodgy heart of mine is only going to get TLC from now on! Since my surgery 3 years ago, I have completed 3 half marathons, 2 marathons, several 5 and 10k’s, probably 10 Olympic distance tris, 4 half ironman and obviously Ironman Austria. Even though I was told my heart would be as good as new (maybe incorrectly), I don’t think the doctors could have predicted I’d go on to do all that!

Deep down, I felt invincible after my op, like it was a second chance to do whatever I wanted. In a way that’s why I’m not finding it hard to let go or give in. I feel cheated of all the things I still wanted to do and have a feeling that I have much more to give.

Having said that, I think I’ve finally accepted that tri is off the agenda, at least for the foreseeable future. I can’t trust myself to train sensibly so I’m better to have an almost complete break. As to running events next year, I still have hope but we’ll see. Ultimately, there is life outside of triathlon (shock horror). I have so much to look forward to and be grateful for, being selfish is just not an option.

Breaking my toe last week I’ve been told is a godsend, actually forcing me into resting. You may still catch me occasionally sneaking a few lengths in, eagerly pacing around the beach or lifting some weights in the gym, but that’s it.

Here is the new sensible and responsible Corinne. The one who puts health and the future first, not merely thinking of the here and now or giving in to the dreaded training guilt.

Just keep me away from the apple crumble please!

6 Months Since Heart Surgery

23 Dec

Today is my 6 month anniversary since my heart surgery. Amongst the Christmas preparations, I have taken time to consider what has happened in the last year and what I would like to achieve in the next few months.

The challenges of 2011, starting with the London marathon and ending with a half Ironman distance race in September (Vitruvian) give me targets to aim for and the motivation to get out and exercise on ‘off’ days.  Heart surgery has taken away a little of my faith in my body as I am afraid to push boundaries to the extent I was before. However, I have so much more determination than I did pre-surgery as I feel I have something to prove to myself – that I can achieve the times and distances I believe I can do. The realisation of what I have physically overcome this year plays on my mind.

Striking a balance between commitment to work, financial income and business development as opposed to fitness training will be a challenge, but one I welcome. I am a firm believer in the fact that more you do, the more you are capable of. This month has been the busiest ever with events so my December fitness goals fell behind. I am not beating myself up as I have continued to exercise whenever I could. January brings a time to organise and orchestrate the rest of the year and reflect on what I am grateful for. I have a list on my desk which I look at regularly, and this helps me focus.

A few words about my scar, 6 months on. Over the cold winter months, it hasn’t been an issue in terms of people starring. A few times, I have felt a twinge of envy seeing a woman with cleavage out! The support I have had online has been incredible, as well as my friends and family. My scar is my story and of both of these, I am very proud.

Merry Christmas everyone and an extremely healthy, active and prosperous 2011!